One of the things I tried to do while writing The Ambitious Madame Bonaparte was to choose metaphors and similes that were appropriate for the time period and the background of my characters. It became an interesting challenge.
For example, Betsy’s father, William Patterson, was a wealthy merchant who was active in the shipping business. During one scene in which Betsy and her father were arguing about her relationship with Jerome Bonaparte, I had Betsy exclaim, “Jerome is not shipment of spoiled cargo to be deducted from my ledger!” The metaphor fits because she is talking to her father in language he will understand.
Similarly, I used figurative language that drew upon the domestic lives of the female characters. Early in the book, Betsy’s Aunt Margaret says to her mother, “Dorcas, you look unwell. You are as white as my linen shift.”
And in one of my favorite passages, I combined domestic imagery with Betsy’s infamous sharp tongue:
Despite her plain looks, Mrs. Merry was dressed as a beauty with rouge on her cheeks and a chandelier necklace of sapphires around her throat. Her blue velvet gown was cut so low that her enormous bosom, restrained only by a film of lace, threatened to pop free. As soon as they were out of earshot of the Merrys, Betsy whispered to Jerome, “Law, she displays those melons as though she were a market.”
Sometimes, I used comparisons that were drawn upon the characters’ past lives. For instance, I had to come up with a simile to describe Betsy’s impatience. She and Jerome have been waiting to hear whether the Bonapartes approve of their marriage. As they’re visiting friends in New York, they receive a letter from Betsy’s father telling them to come home. Word has just arrived from France. This is how I described Betsy’s reaction to the four days it took them to return to Baltimore:
Even so, Betsy chafed at the length of the trip. While she appreciated her father’s discretion, given how frequently mail was opened and read in transit, she was desperate to know how the Bonapartes had reacted to her marriage. For the entirety of the journey, her curiosity was an itch akin to the torment she had suffered as a child whenever she got chigger bites from walking in wet summer grass on her family’s country estates.
Even when making quick comparisons, I tried to use period-appropriate details, as in the following sentence: “Betsy narrowed her eyes but kept her tone as sweet as marzipan.”
Of course, not every instance of figurative language is quite that period specific. Sometimes I just had fun using comparisons that work in any time period:
Uncle Smith shook his head. “Do not be so quick to applaud Bonaparte. Rumor is that he plans to create an American empire out of the Caribbean islands and the lands west of the Mississippi. And once he accomplishes that grand design, what will stop him from swallowing the United States as little more than a tasty sweet at the end of an enormous meal?”
6 responses to “Writing Historical Fiction: Using Figurative Language that Adds to the Historic Setting”
I love this from your book: ” ‘Her blue velvet gown was cut so low that her enormous bosom, restrained only by a film of lace, threatened to pop free. As soon as they were out of earshot of the Merrys, Betsy whispered to Jerome, “Law, she displays those melons as though she were a market.’ ”
This is a challenge in any writing, honestly. I was writing a scene in a Fantasy story and started to type “it would be a miracle”–and then had to stop and consider whether or not “miracle” was even a concept these people would have. (Turns out, they wouldn’t.)
It’s these little things that subtlely make or break the reading experience. Looks like you had some fun with it. (Yes, the melons line is fantastic!)
Good point about it applying to other genres too. I’m glad you brought that up. And yes, I did have fun with it.
I can understand how you feel about the characters in your book—–I sometimes feel that way about a particular book even though I wasn’t the writer—–the people feel like old friends
BTW—Sapphires and blue velvet two of my favorite things—
Yes, I’ve felt particularly close to Betsy. I didn’t expect to since she’s the first main character I’ve ever written who wasn’t a product of my imagination, but I became very protective of her. I felt close to Jerome too, but not as much.